How to Live Happily with Tinnitus

My earliest memory of tinnitus

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re wondering whether it’s possible to live happily with tinnitus again. I know that feeling because I’ve been there too.

I had a brilliant childhood, full of adventures, family holidays and happy memories. I feel incredibly lucky to say that I genuinely miss my childhood. But alongside all those joyful moments, I’ve also lived with tinnitus for as long as I can remember.

In fact, my earliest memory is tinnitus.

I don’t remember the birthday party itself. I don’t remember who was there or what presents I opened. What I do remember is the sheer panic of hearing a loud whistling noise after a balloon popped. I must have been around four years old, and I remember running to my mum in tears, terrified by the sound I could hear.

Looking back, I’m not sure whether it was the noise itself that frightened me the most or the confusion of realising that nobody else could hear it.

If you have tinnitus, you’ll probably understand that feeling.

At first, you’re convinced the sound must be coming from somewhere around you. Is it the fridge? The plug sockets? A television left on in another room? You search everywhere until someone beside you gently says, “I can’t hear anything.”

And that’s often when the panic begins.

As human beings, we’re wired to solve problems. We want answers, reassurance and a solution as quickly as possible. Today, many of us immediately turn to the doctor or, perhaps more commonly, Dr Google.

Of course, when I first became aware of my tinnitus, I was only four years old. Smartphones didn’t exist, and Google certainly wasn’t where people searched for health advice. So life simply carried on.

For years, tinnitus faded into the background of my life.

It never affected my schoolwork. I never went to the doctor because of it. I rarely spoke about it and, most of the time, I barely gave it a second thought.

I’ve often wondered why.

Why did something that would later become so overwhelming barely affect me for so many years?

I think the answer is surprisingly simple.

When we’re children and teenagers, life is constantly moving. Our brains are busy learning, making friends, trying new experiences and discovering the world around us. There simply isn’t much room for tinnitus to take centre stage.

That all changed in 2020.

Like millions of people, my life suddenly came to a standstill during the COVID-19 lockdown. I was 19 years old, had just finished my A Levels and was looking forward to starting university.

I was excited for a brand-new chapter.

Then… nothing.

The world stopped.

None of us knew how long lockdown would last or when life would begin to feel normal again.

Suddenly, we had something many of us had never experienced before: time.

And with that time came silence, uncertainty and far too much thinking.

Looking back now, I realise that wasn’t when my tinnitus began... It was when I finally started listening to it.

When tinnitus suddenly became a problem

Like many people, I spent a lot of time walking during lockdown. It became one of the simple joys of my day.

Looking back, the social distancing feels surreal. I'd walk through vast open fields stretching for miles and see almost the entire village doing exactly the same thing, each family carefully keeping their distance.

With hardly any traffic on the roads, the world felt quieter than I'd ever known it. Every walk made me notice something new. The birds seemed louder, the breeze through the trees became more noticeable and I could hear every rustle of tiny creatures hidden in the bushes.

I had a favourite spot: a huge old oak tree beside a small stone bridge. I'd sit there while my dog, Bob, happily splashed around in the stream below.

It was on that bridge that everything changed. As I sat listening to the water, I realised I wasn't just hearing Bob playing in the stream... I was hearing my tinnitus too.

I'd always known it was there.

Growing up, I'd even asked friends at sleepovers if they could hear the ringing, only to be met with confused looks and a simple "No." But on this particular day, something was different.

For the first time, it started to bother me.

During those long walks, I spent hours thinking about university. I was excited to start a new chapter, but underneath that excitement was uncertainty.

I was worrying about moving away from home, meeting new people, my studies and everything that came with such a huge life change.

The strange thing was that it wasn't tinnitus causing my stress. It was the stress that was making my tinnitus louder.

I've always had a habit of preparing for the worst. I'd imagine every possible scenario and try to plan exactly how I'd cope if something went wrong. At the time, I thought I was protecting myself. Now I realise I was simply stealing my own peace.

The truth is, almost every worst-case scenario I've ever worried about never actually happened.

Stress has a powerful effect on our bodies and nervous systems, and for many people, one of the first things to change is their tinnitus. The more anxious I became about university, the louder my tinnitus seemed to get.

Before long, I wasn't just worrying about my accommodation or my course anymore. I was worrying about how tinnitus was going to affect my university experience.

We're often told that university will be the best years of our lives. I remember feeling terrified that tinnitus was going to take that away from me before I'd even begun.

Since sharing my story online, I've spoken to thousands of people living with tinnitus, and I've realised I wasn't alone.

One of the biggest fears people share isn't the sound itself, it's the fear of what the sound means for their future.

Will I ever enjoy life again?

Will I be able to travel?

Will I still enjoy music?

Will I always feel like this?

The more we worry, the more attention our brains give to tinnitus, and for many of us, the louder it seems to become.

The lowest point

If you've read this far, I hope one thing has become clear already: you're not alone.

Reading other people's experiences gave me hope when I needed it most, so I hope sharing mine can do the same for you.

When I finally arrived at university, I was in a place of complete desperation.

The stress of starting a new chapter, combined with poor sleep, late nights and not looking after myself, pushed my tinnitus to a point where I felt like it was completely out of control.

I started withdrawing from life.

I socialised less.

I stopped going to lectures.

I convinced myself that my future wasn't going to be the one I'd always dreamed of. At the time, graduation felt impossibly far away.

Looking back now, it almost feels like I'm talking about a different person.

Today, I live a full, happy and meaningful life. My tinnitus is still with me, but it no longer controls me.

If the version of me sitting alone in my university room could see my life today, she wouldn't believe it was possible.

I'm telling you this because if you're in that dark place right now, where hope feels impossible to find, I want you to know that your story doesn't have to end there.

Your life can become something you never imagined possible.

You can't change what happened, but you can change what happens next

One thing I've noticed after speaking to so many people with tinnitus is how easy it is to become stuck in the past.

We replay the moment it started.

We search for reasons.

We ask ourselves, "Why me?"

For a long time, I used to tell myself, "Everything happens for a reason." It gave me comfort.

Now, my perspective is slightly different.

Not everything happens for a reason, but there is always a way to find a reason to move forward.

That simple shift changed everything for me.

Tinnitus can make us feel like we've lost control. It can feel unpredictable, frustrating and unfair. But while we can't change what has happened, we can choose what happens next.

You have the ability to shape your future, one small decision at a time.

If you're tired of the way life feels today, know that change doesn't have to happen all at once.

It starts with one choice.

Then another.

And another.

Those small choices eventually become a completely different life.

What finally helped me live happily with tinnitus again

When I was in the deepest, darkest place that tinnitus had ever taken me, I spent almost every day searching for answers.

I searched for cures.

I searched for miracle treatments.

I searched for someone who could tell me that my tinnitus would disappear.

The truth is, I knew there wasn't a cure, but I convinced myself that maybe my case was different.

Maybe mine was worse.

Maybe someone, somewhere, had the answer I just hadn't found yet.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "My tinnitus must be the worst?"

I know I did.

The interesting thing is, after speaking to hundereds of people living with tinnitus, I've realised just how common that thought is.

Most of us have believed it at some point.

And that tells me something important.

We're not alone.

There isn't a way to measure whose tinnitus is "the worst", but there is a way to measure how much it impacts your quality of life.

When I look back at that version of myself, I don't just see someone struggling with tinnitus.

I see someone who had stopped living.

I was waiting for something to change before I allowed myself to be happy.

The problem was, I wasn't changing anything.

There isn't a quick fix

People often ask me what finally helped me habituate to tinnitus.

I wish I could tell you there was one magical solution.

There wasn't.

In fact, I'd be very cautious of anyone who promises a quick fix for tinnitus.

Unfortunately, when people are desperate, they're often willing to try anything, and there will always be someone ready to take advantage of that.

My progress didn't come from one breakthrough. It came from becoming a different version of myself.

I had to build new habits, create healthier routines and slowly retrain my brain.

More than anything, I had to stop living as though tinnitus had already defeated me.

When I think back now, my recovery really came down to two simple things:

Small wins.

Small joys.

Those two ideas changed my life.

The power of small wins

During my worst period, I wasn't looking after myself.

I wasn't sleeping properly.

I wasn't eating well.

I'd often come alive at night because clubs and loud environments distracted me from my tinnitus, but the lack of sleep only made everything harder the next day.

One of the first changes I made was improving my sleep routine.

It sounds so simple, but sleep changes everything.

When we're exhausted, we struggle to think clearly. We cope with stress less effectively, our emotions feel bigger and, for many people, tinnitus feels louder too.

Looking after my body wasn't curing my tinnitus. It was giving my brain the best possible chance to cope with it.

Another challenge was waking up every morning.

My first thought was always:

"It's still there... maybe tomorrow it'll be gone."

That thought became part of my routine. So I decided to replace it with something else.

I started meal prepping and making overnight oats.

It might sound insignificant, but I genuinely looked forward to waking up and eating breakfast.

I enjoyed making it, experimenting with different toppings and giving myself something positive to focus on before tinnitus became the centre of my attention.

That tiny habit disrupted the spiral I'd been stuck in.

For you, it might not be overnight oats...

Maybe it's a morning shower instead of an evening one.

Maybe it's taking your dog for an early walk.

Maybe it's ten minutes of stretching or sitting outside with a cup of tea.

The activity itself isn't the important part.

The important part is creating something that gives your mornings purpose instead of letting tinnitus decide how your day begins.

The power of small joys

If you're wondering where to begin, especially if joy feels impossible right now, I'd love to share a few mindset shifts that genuinely helped me.

The first is something that might sound a little unusual.

Imagine you're the main character in a video game.

See yourself in the third person.

Every positive decision you make earns experience points.

Every walk, every healthy meal, every difficult day you get through helps your character level up.

It sounds silly, but it helped me stop seeing myself as someone who was broken and start seeing myself as someone who was growing.

Another perspective that changed my life was imagining my future.

I used to picture the life I desperately wanted. Not just a life without tinnitus, but a life filled with purpose, friendships, travel, laughter and meaningful work.

Then I asked myself one question:

What can I start doing today that the future version of me would already be doing?

The more I acted like that person, the more I proved to myself that I was capable of becoming them.

Our brains are incredible, but they also have a flaw.

They believe the stories we tell ourselves.

If you repeatedly tell yourself that you'll never enjoy life because of tinnitus, your brain starts looking for evidence that it's true.

So what if you started telling yourself a different story?

One final perspective shift I return to often is this:

Treat yourself like someone you love.

If your closest friend came to you and said they were struggling, you wouldn't criticise them. You'd encourage them. You'd remind them that better days are possible.

So why not offer yourself that same kindness?

Sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is become our own biggest supporter.

You can enjoy life with tinnitus again

If there's one thing I'd love you to take away from my story, it's this:

A good day doesn't just happen.

It's something we create.

For so long, I waited to feel better before I started living.

In reality, it was living that slowly helped me feel better.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

So start small.

If you feel anxious, do it anxious.

If you feel sad, do it sad.

You don't have to wait until you feel ready to begin living your life again.

Because it's the experiences you have, the small wins you celebrate and the moments of joy you create that slowly teach your brain something extraordinary:

Life is still happening.

And despite tinnitus...

It can still be a beautiful one.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

If this story resonated with you, I want you to know that you don't have to navigate tinnitus on your own.

If you're looking for a supportive space to reflect, learn and connect with others, I'd love to welcome you to The Tinnitus Journaling Club.

I created the club because it's exactly the kind of positive, encouraging community I wish I'd had during my own most difficult days with tinnitus.

Together, we explore gentle journaling, share experiences, support one another and celebrate the small wins that help us move forward.

It's a place where you'll be reminded that life can still be full of hope, meaning and joy alongside tinnitus.

If that sounds like something you'd benefit from, I'd love to welcome you.

Explore the Club